It's been a while, I know. I'm sorry.

While sharing stories, I've been asked many times if I experienced culture shock while I was in Uganda. The obvious answer would be to say yes...but to tell you the truth, I've experienced it much more while being back in the States. I feel that Uganda was my home, and this is just a place that I am visiting. At times, I feel that it's a dream, and I will soon wake up there once again. I struggle daily with the fact that I've seen so much brokenness there, but that I am here, with no physical, tangible, way of being and helping to bring the change. I've recently realized a sense of anger in my heart towards God because of this. I feel as if He's opened up my heart to something so beautiful and taken it away so quickly. He's placed a passion for each child within my heart, and I now feel all alone, with no hand of action. Those were the shortest and most emotional two weeks of my life. Two weeks that don't compare to anything I've ever experienced. Two weeks I'd only trade to be able to spend a lifetime with them instead. I think the only reason that the anger that I've recognized within my heart has been forced to leave is because I truly do believe that God loves the children so much more than I ever could. God loves you more than I ever could, Nangobi. He was working before I met each of them, while I was there, and He will continue to work until He calls them home. He's working on the days that all I think about are those beautiful faces, and their sweet words, and on the days when my mind is filled with things that are of much less importance. All I did was show up. I asked Him to send me, I heard His call, and He was faithful.

Love floods my heart in place of the anger. I love and give thanks to God for allowing the children to be in my heart, for providing me with this unconditional and irreplaceable love that He, Himself has shown to me, so that I may pour it out upon others.

I feel that He's embedded this love inside of me for these children, and this deep desire to meet their needs, and share the love and message of Jesus Christ with them for more reasons than one. I will return. 

Nangobi, your picture causes tears to pour out from my eyes, but you are smiling. I hope you are smiling now. I hope you know that you're so dearly loved. God made you so beautiful.